10 Jul Marriages are made in mind
Seriously. The heaven has just changed its name!. This is not specific to the social relationship a man and woman get into. It is, any contractual obligation (written or verbal) between two parties (example – employment, responsibility entrusted at home or office and even a merger & acquisition!).
There is always a debate in Indian subcontinent, whether an arranged marriage is more successful than love marriage. And many inference, reasoning and umpteen logics are given to prove that the arranged marriage is much more successful than the latter.
Personally, I have my own version for this. In both cases, as long as both parties agree to accept the differences between the two and get ready to expect the unexpected, result will be mutually beneficial.
There is a saying ‘known devil is better than than unknown’. But in this case, the unknown is definitely better than the known – because – when you come to know the unknown facts, it is unknown any-way. But if you know the devil and come to know the unknown later, you are in-fact know little about the known.
I still remember my first day meet with this young lady, who spent 25 minutes talking about a film personality in a 30 minutes conversation and displayed high level of confidence in responding to one of my question as, “You do whatever you want to do in your life. I will earn for my living and do not touch my money”. It is been over 12 years now, am living happily with this ladylove and her statement is unchanged.
Few years back, I asked her a question: ‘How much you know me & how much you think I know you?’. The sharp answer came in a split-second – ’20-30%’. I was shocked and did not accept, in the first instant. For my better understanding, have asked the same question in a different way to few colleagues in office: ‘How much you know your spouse & how much you think he/she knows you?”. On an average the answer is – 60-90%. And when I refined the same question for the individual with their parents, the response is – “over 90%”.
But, you know what, I go with my ladylove, who strongly believe that 20-30% is a practical number. If one person can get to know more about the other person (irrespective of the relationship) and/or self-exposed to other person, then we are not dealing with human. Life becomes predictable. And as a matter-of-fact, a human mind is expected to behave different, for a given situation, based on the environment, mood, experience, age and the wisdom-of-thought at that moment.
Which means, any relationship will be successful, only when self & the other party realize the existence of differences and unexpected reaction/response and ready to accept them at face value. And the joy of dealing with these unexpected things are a glucose drink for the long-running run !.
Marriages may be made-up in heaven, but in the LIVE environment, it is purely made in each mind.